Radio Middle Earth
by Alwaysbeyourself
Summary: Read and laugh, if you will! But if I earned your happiness, give me some reviews, please!
1. Faramir

**Radio Programme**

Speaker: Hello, here we are live from Edoras, welcome to Radio Middle Earth.

It's ten o'clock and we already start very spectacularly and currently with an interview with Faramir, Boromirs brother and Denethors son. To Gondor, please!

_Interview with Faramir_

**Interviewer**: Hi you guys there in Edoras. Here is Ceridwen, I'm in Gondor in it's capital Minas Tirith, the white Town! Here still Denethor, the Truchsess rules as the substitute of the real King of Gondor. He doesn't want to accept that Aragorn, who is the King of Gondor, certainly is going to play his role soon.

Denethor has two sons, Boromir and Faramir. We all know Boromir, he was one human member of the Fellowship. We are all very shocked when we heard that he was killed, especially his father because Boromir always was and still is his favourite and most-beloved son. Faramir knows that and now he wants to show his father that his other son isn't useless and has the right to be accepted, too. Before he is going to start his ride only with a few riders, we will have the opportunity to talk to him- maybe the last time because this ride is almost the safety death. Oh, there he is, wait a minute… Faramir, Faramir, come here please! Thank you, Faramir! So what exactly are you going to do now, and why, I mean, it's not unlikely that you're going to die.

**Faramir**: First of all, I'm going to ride with my men to Osgiliath, to kill those Orcs. I know that I probably will die, they are many, we are few, they are strong, we are weak, but look, my father always loved Boromir more than me, he even wishes that I would have been killed. That's very hard for a son to hear from his father. _has tears in his eyes_ Maybe I can win the pride of my dad for me when I do this- when I kill those orcs or when I die for him… Maybe then he sees me as his son, maybe than I'm worthy of being his son.

**Interviewer**: You have to know what you're doing, dude, but we wish you very good luck, come back please!

**Faramir**: I will fight as good and long as I can. Bye!

**Interviewer**: Bye then, Faramir… So, you see a very strained situation here in Minas Tirith and a family drama in addition. More information will be given to you later, the outcome of Faramir´s fight of heart and the following situation of Gondor.

Speaker: After this emotional report we need some music to relax again.

Music: In dreams, The breaking of the fellowship-- The fellowship -- song 17

Speaker: And now to Minas Morgul. We have the special honour to have an Interview with an orc.


	2. orc

**the listeners(haha!):** Thanks so long for our beautiful reviews, we put the question about female orcs in it as we created the report, but for the special wish of the loyal…(something like that) we made it a bit longer. Congratulations! Review more and we can write something about your wishes (do you have an elvish name?). The whole programme with its six reports is finished already but we will continue, because it is a lot of fun- and as we can see, you like it!

Locse

Interview with an orc

**Interviewer**: Welcome Mr. Ukuz, we are very pleased to be allowed to interview one of the dark creatures of Sauron. It is a difficult thing to find an orc who won't kill you by the time you try to speak to him or her. Oh, sorry, but I don't really know whether there are any orc girls between all these horrible guys killing every living creature down here.

**Ukuz:** Of course there are orc girls but it is very difficult to get them in such big crowds of orcs. They are fewer than we males are. And they look nearly like we do, there are not such big differences like in your human race. They even feel and behave like males.

**Interviewer**: Oh, I think some people will be very pleased to hear this. It would be a horrible imagination that some of the darkest creatures in Middle Earth were gay. Where would be the fear then?

**Ukuz:** Sorry, but I really have to mention that the orcs aren't as bad and dark as everybody thinks. Orcs have feelings too, you know, and every time I hear somebody saying like "dark creatures" I could nearly cry! _sobs_ Do you think it is nice to see a monster every time you look into the mirror? It isn't! If these bad, but good-looking elves wouldn't be so awful to us maybe we wouldn't be so violent. And I really get angry when they start mobbing us, like "hey, look at this grumpy creatures, today their stink is at the highest point of bad smell!".

**Interviewer**: Is that all they do to you? Why don't you just fight? You are strong and cruel!

**Ukuz:** You have an bit of elvish, haven't you? Never mind! And they do lots of more things to us. It is not that why couldn't afford, but it is just… I don't know! I could tell you some more little stories, but _whispers_ my cousin would be very angry when I tell you big ones. He loves the elvish knights, you know what I mean! _loud_ Okay, one time we only wanted to get two little guys, two halflings, with a very little but special thing they carried around. They weren't very important for us, you know, but these elves wanted them too, so we went on hunting. Many of us had to die. But for that we killed one of these stupid humans, which were going with the elves and little ones and so we got them! HA! So we showed these arrogant elves that we weren't as stupid as they think. It was a great feeling. But after a while the elves took one hundreds of their knights and followed us for miles and miles. I was the only one to escape these fucking, stinking elvish arrows, my whole family was killed in this bloody battle. _Another_ _orc moves near and stuck his sword into Ukuzs back. _Argh, sorry Quezuk, I had to tell about my pain, it was so terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…. _he dies_

_Music__: -At the End of all things- The return of the king- song 16_

**Quezuk:** Sorry, I had to kill this fucking and slimy traitor, he told too much of Saurons plans, I think?

**Interviewer**: No, none.

**Quezuk:** Never mind, he got on my nerves!

**Interviewer**: I would say, back to the studio! QUICK!!!

**Speaker:** Thank you for that! And now, my dear listener, do you know what? If we play "Into the West" after "Gollum´s Song" you can call us and win one of the three rings. The number is:

**All: **_**000001 (o-o-o-o-o-one) 000002 (o-o-o-o-o-two)**_

**Speaker:** So, now we have the next report from Rivendell. Nia, please tell us about the situation there!

We hope you liked this one, next time Nia will tell us something very interesting about Arwen and Aragorn!

And sorry, but I won't have that much time to give you more in the next few days, just tell me you're there and I will hurry!


End file.
